TW: Suicidal Thoughts Mentioned
Started up a conversation with a guy I had been talking to in early July. I have a tendency to just stop messaging people so I went through and re-entered a few of the forgotten ones.
Saturday, invites me to go try Boba tea at a shop I never heard of. It’s by our mall — which is about thirty minutes from where I live. Since the breakup I don’t have a car to go out and do things. So, my sister agreed to take me.
It hits eight o’clock, it’s quick to see that I need to do laundry. I throw on my plaid leggings and my Dr. Who shirt.
After I figure out what I’m going to wear…
My random date out turns into also a mission to check on my ex to make sure he hasn’t killed himself. My ex had no knowledge of this date and it was his girlfriend’s husband who contacted me about it. Who also didn’t have any knowledge of my date.
When the messages were being sent to me I wasn’t taking it serious. This man has been working his way through getting his wife back since they got together. This is a situation where a man would do whatever to try to get his woman back, y’know?
But I sent my ex’s phone number to my family so they could reach out to them. Doesn’t it just sound sketchy that if your ex girlfriend call you to check to make sure you’re not going to kill yourself on the words of his girl’s ex?
I get my makeup on and I head to the date. At the place, I tell the guy that there was an emergency that was going on so I’ll need to look at my phone. But not a kind of emergency that I could physically help just tracking it. Told him it’s definitely not first date conversation material.
I cut the date at about 45 minutes in. When I get home, I reread everything and realized that his girlfriend’s ex is telling me that they broke up and that’s why he’s worried that my ex is feeling suicidal.
But before the forty-five minutes into the date my sister did call him to verify that he was still alive. We weren’t really on the side of the fence that believed the husband. So, there wasn’t a lot of effort. It just sounded like a ploy.
Anyways, the conversation and the Boba tea was interesting. We didn’t do a q and a kind of first date. Just talked about our jobs and he talked about Boba tea. It was a nice distraction from the drama surrounding my ex.
The guy stated that depending on how things go with this other woman he’s seeing .. whether or not we do anything else. He’s currently in a situation where this woman is deciding between him and another guy. He’ll know more information Friday. I’m just…wait, what.
I’m not too concerned with this either way. He seems nice and easy to talk with but he’s extremely overweight. I’m fine with chunky but compatibility with my disability is extremely needed. I know that sounds weird and there’s ways to be intimate with someone heavier without being squashed. BUT.
So, that’s how that went. Then yesterday, message the ex midafternoon to check to make sure that he’s still alive. He tells me that he plans on dealing with the situation in how he deems fit. That this isn’t my problem and that it’s his and all that dramatic bullshit.
I am aware it wasn’t my issue. But some stranger brought it to my porch and was “Hey do something.” So, now I’m here and beyond that I thought he had me blocked. So, all my messages felt like i was just talking to myself in hopes of seeming like I gave a shit about it.
I do, I still care about him and want him in my life. But not in a dating kind of way, not anymore. He burned that bridge. If we proceeded with anything there would be some hellish amounts of working for forgiveness.
But he’s not killing himself. Just drinking a lot and mourning his problems. And, stopped talking to me. So, hopefully, things work out for him. There’s not a lot I can do for that.
It’s been a weird weekend.